Blog Archives

Friday July 3, 2020

Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have? I planted myself on the sofa at the start of April and I’ve grown bigger ever since.

Posted in Jewel Joke Of The Day

Thursday July 2, 2020

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?’” The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”

Posted in Jewel Joke Of The Day

Wednesday July 1, 2020

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?” Student: “A drinking problem.”

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Tuesday June 30, 2020

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: “Put it on my bill.”

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Monday June 29, 2020

Husband: You will never succeed, in making that dog obey you. Wife: Nonsense! it’s only a matter of patience, remember I had a lot of trouble with you at first as well…

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Friday June 26, 2020

A father was teaching his 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. The daughter asked, “Do I click the square?” The father said, “Yes.” The daughter then wanted to know, “Single click or double click?”

Posted in Jewel Joke Of The Day

Thursday June 25, 2020

Husband: Babe, after work I had an accident. Sabrina took me to the hospital. After various tests, they said I was in a bad state with cervical dislocation, multiple facial injuries. Also, they will have to amputate my right leg.

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Wednesday June 24, 2020

My friend reviewed her young son’s fill-in-the-blank homework. One line: “At Christmas, we exchange gifts with ___________.” His response: “Receipts.”

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Tuesday June 23, 2020

A man say’s to the mailman: This empty envelope must be from my sister Charlotte. Mailman: Now why would she send you an empty envelope? Man: We had an argument, and she’s not talking to me..

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Monday June 22, 2020

Bob took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow. “Ooh,” said the presenter.“ This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists, who operated in London at the turn of the last century.  Do you have

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Friday June 19, 2020

Little Johnny: I’m not going back to school anymore. Mom: Why not? Little Johnny: On Monday the teacher said that four and four make eight. On Tuesday she said six and two make eight. Today she said five and three

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Thursday June 18, 2020

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an

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Wednesday June 17, 2020

Two guys are talking about their boss’s upcoming wedding. One says, “It’s ridiculous, he’s rich, but he’s 93 years old, and she’s just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?” The other says, “Well, we have a name for

Posted in Jewel Joke Of The Day

Tuesday June 16, 2020

School teacher sends home a note with student. The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.” Mother sends a note back the following day, ”Please advise a solution. Father

Posted in Jewel Joke Of The Day

Monday June 15, 2020

Mother Lion: Junior, what are you doing? Lion Cub: I’m chasing a hunter around a tree. Mother Lion: How many times must I tell you not to play with your food?

Posted in Jewel Joke Of The Day

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